Maybe You're Not Procrastinating

Teasing apart the nuance of why we feel stuck

Do you use Apple Notes? As of yesterday, I had 4768 notes in there.

Today? 809.

Yep, I consciously uncoupled from killed 3959 ideas.

Every few months, I do what I call “The Impossible Scroll”, and speed through the random snippets, writing, and notes that I’ve jotted down in the app, and do my best to curate, organize, and delete what I don’t need or want anymore.

I don’t have a defined system for this, and usually it’s just a matter of instinct — gauging, “yeah, there’s something here”, or “nope, no life to this one,”. Like sorting through seeds and ditching the ones that don’t seem healthy, strong, or relevant enough to be worth watering.

I always learn a lot from the impossible scroll, and it’s interesting to see the different themes, seasons, and cycles from that wider vantage point. Something of an Overview Effect kicks in, and I’m able to remove myself from my daily creative point of view and see the currents that have been moving me over several months.

One big thing stuck out to me in this most recent impossible scroll, though:

I had so many thoughts & projects written down that, at the time, felt like no brainer ideas to pursue. After all, you don’t intentionally save bad ideas. Most seem great at the beginning.

But with the benefit of time, I’m now able to see that those ideas — though fun and even exciting — didn’t feel like mine after some time had passed.

In my publishing life, I’ve had this happen a lot. There have been so many times that I’ve sketched out a plot or premise, only to never quite find or make the time to develop it. It never fails, a few months later and I’m seeing another author publish a book that’s astoundingly similar. (Sidenote: If this has happened to you, it’s normal and not just you!)

But, no matter what you’re creating, it’s worth taking that wider view. One of the most common concerns I hear from creative people is their fear of procrastinating. They beat themselves up, call themselves lazy, and blame themselves for not making the time for their creative practice or work.

And it would be easy for me to look at those 4768 notes and scold myself for not acting on enough of them. For being unmotivated or bad at time management.

As with everything, nuance matters.

Sometimes, we do procrastinate. Usually, we drag our butts because the actions that we’d be required to take would pull us from what feels like safety.

But there’s also a good chance that some of the things you’re not acting on aren’t actually that inspiring or engaging to you anymore. Maybe they’re just the ‘shoulds’, that your brain has convinced you that you need to do — but your creative spirit is more lukewarm about them.

I talked last week about how to listen to your creative body, and this view of a procrastination is a unique facet of that kind of internal noticing that can make a big difference in how you treat yourself:

Is it procrastination? Or is there somewhere within you that recognizes that this project, idea, or path isn’t yours?

The blessing and curse of the creative mind is that it’s constantly scanning the horizon and picking up on the most inconsequential flashes of inspiration and banking them for later. But that also means we’re continuously filling ourselves up with what isn’t useful, too.

Some ideas aren’t for us. And if they’re not, it can be cathartic to set them (and yourself) free. And here’s the key — you’ve got to do it without blaming yourself.

Sometimes, procrastination is wisdom.

Maybe you’re not holding yourself back. Maybe you’re just reserving your energy for what’s actually right for you.

Can you feel the difference as you examine your ideas?

You don’t need all the ideas. You just need the ones that are right for you.

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